I thought about opening this post with an inspirational quote. Something about resiliency or recovery. Or even perseverance. But I'm just too tired to go digging for one. This is going to be a very raw post today, my friends. Let's be honest. While I love to write things for you to read and to try to bring encouragement to you, this is also for me too. And today, well, today it's about me.
A dear friend of mine shared an article with me recently. It is called "Everything Doesn't Happen For A Reason" by Tim Lawrence. While I don't necessarily agree with everything he had to say (because I do have a very firm belief in God - not that Mr. Lawrence doesn't, but prayer helps me) but anyway, he did say something that has stuck with me. He said, "Some things in life cannot be fixed. They can only be carried." I can feel that. And I agree with it.
Because that is what my life feels like these days. I'm carrying a lot of things. And while I wish they were things I could just shed, they are all things that need to be emotionally processed. They require an action. They need to be dealt with. And unfortunately, I just don't have the capacity to do it right now.
Life shouldn't be this hard, but it is. And one of these days I'm going to be able to process all the things I'm carrying and get my life back under control. If anything, that's the biggest lesson I've learned these last few months. That I'm not always going to get to control everything in my path. Did you ever have the Harlem Globetrotters (or something like them) visit your school as a kid? Remember the one guy that would spin the basketballs? And the other members would keep throwing more basketballs at him and he had to keep all the other balls spinning without dropping them? You always held your breath because it became a game of how many can he take before the last one makes him drop them all. I think I feel like that guy right now. Standing in the middle of an empty gym with a whole bunch of basketballs laying on the ground below me.
Blah. This was not meant to be a "woe is me" post. My life is total cake compared to others. I just needed to write something outside of my journal. And mostly just to say, sometimes life is hard. And it has to be ok too. I should probably make some kind of analogy about the hotter the water the stronger the tea and tea is good or something. This post has gotten out of control.
Thanks for listening to my rambling. Sometimes the simple act of writing things out helps me work through thoughts.
TODAY I LOVE: rain
SONG OF THE DAY: "Hello" by Adele