Do you ever wonder if you’re doing something, anything, in your life that is making a difference?  If right this very second, or today, or yesterday, or last week, or even last month you did something that that changed the course for someone else.  Have you ever wanted to help someone not for the glory but for the simple fact that it makes YOU feel great all over?

This past weekend Ry and I went to Kansas City for the MIAA Basketball Tournament.  Those of you out there that know Ry and I even superficially know that we get lost everywhere.  I am very poor with navigational directions and tend to operate with landmarks.  If you tell me to turn at the Mexican restaurant on the left with the yellow roof I’m must more apt to get to my destination than if you tell me to turn north and then east on 51^st street.  GPS and navigation devices were created for directionally challenged folks like my husband and I.  My fancy cell phone has Google Maps built-in.  I listen to Ms. Droid Voice on my phone like a voice from heaven telling me where to turn.

Likewise, when I’m sick, I want everyone to know I’m sick.  Call me a human seeking sympathy, but I’m really seeking advice.  I want someone to come to me and say, “OH!  I know what you’re going through and I know what you need to do to get better.”

When I want to be the best physically fit Sarah that I can be, I look to my trainers.  They have more knowledge in their pinkie toes on how make my body perform to its potential.  They guide and direct me in movements, nutrition, and exercise so that I don’t injure myself and still exceed in raising the bar.

When I need to seek spiritual guidance, I look to my friends and pastors.  These folks know my struggles and internal battles and shape and mold my life around the scripture so I can be the best Sarah the God wants me to be.

Do you see the trend here?  From Google maps telling me how to not get lost physically and my friends telling me how to not get lost spiritually, someone or something is guiding my path.  Little turns and twists here and there.  Am I helping anyone?

I like to think that while I don’t stand on the street corner and preach the gospel that my life is shining for God.  One of the things I’ve said over and over about myself is that I hope I leave people asking themselves what is different about me.  No, I don’t mean because my voice is squeaky and I have a penchant for gadgets, but in the hope that God’s light shines from my skin.  Lately, though, I’m thinking that is not enough.

What do I do?  This is the big question that keeps running rampant through my mind.  I don’t speak out of turn in thinking my husband feels the same way.  We’ve been coasting for far too long, and I know in speaking for myself alone my heart hurts for the people that I’m not helping.  How do I help?  I don’t know.  Where do I help?  I don’t know.  What Do I DO?

Is it lack of faith to not take a flying leap over the edge?  Probably so.  But rather than get defeated in the that fact, I’m going to pray that the right opportunity comes along and it is presented in such a way that I know it’s the road I’m supposed to take.  I have to know that when God chooses your path all the other details work themselves out.  It’s just difficult having a bleeding heart full of compassion and feel unsure of what to do with it.  In the interim, I will continue to try to be “someone different” until the right thing comes along.

Am I helping or changing someone’s life today?  I don’t know.  Do I want to?  Absolutely.

What are YOU doing to affect someone else today?

TODAY I LOVE: possibilities and copy machines

SONG OF THE DAY: “Moon and Moon” by Bat for Lashes