• Work is, as I mentioned previous, quite busy. It’s December now and everyone is freaking out about the end of the year. Because of Christmas and the fact that I’m taking off the week between Christmas and New Years, I have mucho scrambling to do to accomplish all that needs to be done. Let the holiday season begin.
• Basketball season has begun so now my evenings are filled with ballgames. This is my time of year, my friends. I heart college basketball. My Bearcats and Jayhawks are going to have great seasons again this year.
• There is a man fixing our copy machine right now and his cell phone just rang. The ringtone was “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye. Wow.
• I’m running another marathon this weekend and I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am for it. Ashley and I are going to Memphis with our friend and fellow running partner Melinda to celebrate her birthday by running a marathon. This will be Melinda’s first full marathon! I cannot wait to see her cross the finish line. This will also be my first marathon to run with Ashley. I think we’re going to have a great time. I have heard from several people that this race is a good one so I’m anticipating a first-rate view of the city from running the streets. If the hotel has wifi I hope to post tomorrow after we’ve been to the expo, but if not I’ll let you all know how it went when we get back.
• My husband let me get a new cell phone last week. He loves me and spoils me to distraction. I’m addicted to new gadgets and every year about this time I’m jonesing for new toys. First of all, I really did want an iPhone but didn’t want to switch phone carriers. I have had no problems with Verizon, who we have now. Secondly, I really liked my Blackberry Curve and all that it did for me. Great phone. So, what to do? I researched the Blackberry Storm 2 and the new Motorola Droid. The Droid won. It is amazing. Google is amazing. Hands down it’s a great phone.
• Ry and I had a great Thanksgiving. It was busy and we didn’t even come close to making all our family members happy with visiting times, but we did what we could. If or when we have kids I have no idea how we’re going to do it all. I ate way too much and enjoyed every bite. I’m not enjoying so much the lingering blackberry cobbler that is stuck to my thighs but surly a few more miles and a few CrossFit sessions will work that off. Speaking of CrossFit…
• On Monday of this week we did my nemesis of a workout, Kalsu. To date this has been the only workout I’ve ever not finished. I finished it on Monday! It took me 18 minutes with the 45lb bar, but I did it. That’s a milestone I want to remember.
• Again this year, not sure how or when Ry and I are going to get the Christmas decorations up. It’s so strange because I love Christmas and all that comes with it. I used to have my tree(s) up before Thanksgiving. However the last two years time has disappeared and December floats by in a blur and then it’s over. It’s not for lack of wanting to have my decorations up, and believe it or not it is not even fear of having the cats destroy it, its all time. Ry and I are lucky to get 1 night a week at home and the weekends go by so quickly. At this point it will be the middle of next week before we could get our tree out and up then we have a week and a half until Christmas and we have to find time to take it all down. Next year, take note of this; I’m getting my tree out early so that I can’t let the thieves that steal my time in December take it away.
• I just got my invitation to Google Wave. I don’t know what I’m doing yet, but be my friend.
• I want to go to Silver Dollar City one time before Christmas.

I’m forgetting stuff. I know I am. I’ll try to be a bit more consistent with my posts, but it’s been a week.

If you think of it, please wish my friend Melinda warm first marathon wishes on Saturday morning. Run hard but enjoy yourself, my friend.

TODAY I LOVE: Christmas and girl trips to the South

SONG OF THE DAY: “I Pray on Christmas” by Harry Connick Jr.

Ritual. A ritual is a set of actions, performed mainly for their symbolic value, which is prescribed by a religion or by the traditions of a community (as defined by Wikipedia). Ritual is all those mornings that I’ve gotten up long before the sun has come up, slipped on my shoes, met my lovely running partner, and hit the city streets. Ritual is only eating certain things because I know they will increase my performance or not upset my tummy. Ritual is listening to a certain song right when I wake up because I know it’s going to give me that extra boost. And ritual is saying my quick prayer as I cross the start line, praying for God to give me strength to run the race that He has planned for me (Hebrews 12:1-3).

Shock. I love the definition that Wiki gives to shock: a psychological condition arising in response to a terrifying event. Terrifying it is! It usually smacks me right in the face roughly 5-6 miles into the event, sometimes at the point where the half marathoners split off. The “what on earth am I doing” feeling that makes your gut sink to your shoes. It might be shock that you took out of the gate too fast and you’re going to fade fast and soon. This leads us right into the next stage…

Denial. Denial is a defense mechanism postulated by Sigmund Freud, in which a person is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence. Yes, believe it or not you do have to stop to go to the bathroom. Yes, you did start too fast. Yes, you did forget to put body glide in that very uncomfortable place. Yes, you should have had some water those last few water stops rather than running through. Yes, although the injury is nagging it is still there. And trust me when I say this folks, you have lots of time to talk with yourself mentally thinking of all these things. Miles and miles of time to think about it. You really have no distraction other than to battle with yourself.

Isolation. For this definition, there are actually two very different definitions that I like. Both are similar yet different enough and they both apply. In the first I think of isolation as solitude, lack of contact with people. This happens. When the half marathon folks split off to head to the finish line the number of people running drop drastically. There can be times where it is just you out there. It’s lonely. The other definition of isolation comes again from Freud, it’s a defense mechanism where a person “isolates” the unpleasant idea from the normal emotional response. Let’s think on that one for a bit, shall we? You block things out. You compartmentalize all your problems because honestly everything at that moment, especially toward the end of the race is so emotionally charged and right at the surface that you would never finish if you dealt with it all right then. I love this reasoning because it is so true. When I am fighting out the miles between 19-25 nearly everything bothers me. My highs and excitements are more and my lows and aggravations and much more too.

Despair. The loss of hope. Sounds appealing, right? At this point everything on your body hurts, you are tired, you still can’t see the finish line, and you feel that the race is never going to end. In my first marathon the despair came about mile 22ish. It was horrible. As my family and friends like to remind me (repeatedly) I said the words, “I hate this. I hate everyone.” Yep, that’s pretty much how I felt too. You just have to mentally and physically keep pushing to the next step because it is the best.

Affirmation. A declaration that something is true. When you round the bend and see the finish line, and hear the crowd you get a new jolt of energy. Why is it that all finish lines are “around the bend?” I just thought of that. Anyway, crossing the finish line after running a marathon is like no feeling on this planet. If you’ve never done it I cannot fully describe for you to appreciate the weight of the medal around your neck. I can’t explain to you how it feels to stop running after pushing and pulling your body for 4+ hours. You feel…affirmed. You did this for a reason and you CAN do it. You’re a marathoner. You’re one of the few in this world that ran 26.2 miles.

Renewal. You’re ready to run again. The roads that you swore you were finished with become your spouse once again.

Going through all these stages and writing my feelings made me revisit each of my marathons thus far. It was a pleasant and hard journey. I hope I have a great story to tell after Tulsa this weekend. The important thing to remember and Ashley keeps reminding me, my body knows how to do this. It knows how to hold the pace I want to maintain and it knows how to go the distance. My mind, however, is placing doubt. I need to get there so that my body can do its thing. Bring on Tulsa. I’m ready. Let’s rock this.

I love looking down at my Garmin and seeing all those miles pile up and the calories burn. I love feeling my frustration melt out of my body and the evidence of it being salty tracks on my skin. I love the fact that my feet know my running shoes. You get that “ah” feeling once you slip them on. I love that being a runner is a universal cult. You just have to RUN to be accepted. I love that every runner, no matter the distance, has a story to tell you about some race and you understand it because it’s happened to you too. Runners are the most encouraging people on the planet and would run with you the hard miles of the race if it meant you would through. I love that this sport makes me solely competitive with myself and no one else.

I just signed up for another marathon. Yep, I surely did. When I get nervous or excited, or a good deal floats my way I just bat my pretty eyes at my husband and he lets me try. That’s another thing I love- my husband who understands my obsession and fixation with running and lets me do it with no restraints other than my health. That’s very important.

I have 13 days left until the Tulsa Marathon and I am nervous. It doesn’t matter how prepared I am, I’m still nervous. I just need to finish. This is my first marathon in a year and I’m nervous. So, when I’m nervous I just give my race calendar a look-see and plan something else. After Tulsa in 13 days I am signed up for 3 more marathons. Oh my goodness.

Nov 22- Route 66 Tulsa Marathon

Dec 5- St. Jude Memphis Marathon

Feb 28- Rock n’ Roll Mardi Gras Marathon, New Orleans

April 11- GO! St. Louis Marathon

Do you believe this? What’s worse is the fact that I have several more races in the “hopper” for 2010 that I haven’t officially registered for. For example, I’m just waiting for Chicago to open up so I can register for that race. I am GOING to run Chicago on 10/10/10. Sign me up. Not only that, but I want to be faster. Running is like a drug; the more you have the more you want and the faster you have to get it. I was driving the other day and saw a hill with a sidewalk and thought, “I could so do some hill repeats on that thing.” Whoa, I’ve crossed over.

So, all that being said, I’m nervous. I have to run tonight. By myself. Ashley is enjoying a fantastic vacation on her way back from California so I need to put on my big girl britches and do this. Ry gave me permission to try since I haven’t had any dizzy spells in a while. No excuses because I only have 13 DAYS until my race. Sigh. Here goes nothing!!

TODAY I LOVE: hmmmm, running maybe? And hot tea.

SONG OF THE DAY: “Songs From Different Times” by Jack Savoretti