Missing

Sometime between mid-December and now I have misplaced two things that I hold dear- my motivation and my confidence.  Even after cleaning my house top-to-bottom, cleaning out my closets, getting my diet back on track, and retracing my steps I can’t seem to find them.  Have you seen them anywhere?  I’m a chicken and feel CrossFit is out of my reach, it’s so cold running…shoot, I’d almost rather sit here and stare at the wall like a blob that get up off my tush and try.  What is this strange being called laziness and sloth?  I do not know her nor do I like her very much.

Ry asked me the other night if I was depressed.  I don’t think so, but who knows.  This is so not like me.  I’ve worked out twice this week, once at CrossFit and once at home.  I had to force those workouts.  I need to get back to CrossFit as much as possible but why am I so afraid?

When I can’t find motivation within myself, nor if I can generate it, I will start to look elsewhere.

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.  Everyone
who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get
a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last
forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No,
I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to
others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.”
1 Corinthians 9:24-27

“Brothers, I do not
consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do:
Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
Phillipians 3:13-14

It’s just so hard, folks.  My motivation and confidence is out there some where.  Please help me find it again.

“Success is not only for the elite. Success is there for those who want it, plan for it, and take action to achieve it.”
~Jim Brown

“Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice: It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.”
~William Jennings Bryan

“Each man’s work will become evident; for the day will show it, because it is to be revealed with fire; and the fire itself will test the quality of each man’s work.”
~1 Corinthians 3:13

“It’s lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believed in myself.”
~ Muhammed Ali

“The only one who can tell you ‘you can’t ‘ is you. And you don’t have to listen.”
~Nike

“We will go to the moon. We will go to the moon and do other things, not because they are easy but because they are hard.”
~John F. Kennedy, Jr.

“The body does not want you to do this. As you run, it tells you to stop but the mind must be strong. You always go too far for your body. You must handle the pain with strategy .It is not age; it is not diet. It is the will to succeed.”
~Jacqueline Gareau

“Running is a big question mark that’s there each and every day. It asks you, ‘Are you going to be a wimp or are you going to be strong today?”
~Peter Maher

I love it when I can take the words of others and fill up my proverbial bucket of motivation! It is a good day indeed.

If you have not figured out by now, I am a list maker. I am a list maker and I spend a lot of time in my own head. That’s good and bad in the fact that I control most of how I perceive things. I like being in control. To a certain extent that is why I like the marathon. I am in control of a lot of things, key things. I don’t have to worry about anyone but myself. So, all that being said, here are the top 10 reasons why I’m going to have a great race this Sunday:

10. I just purchased Capri tights that fit and are not too big. Score. No more saggy bottom for the race.

9. I am not sick. Yet. I have so far this week avoided everyone and everything that has germs. I’ve drank lots of water, I’ve taken vitamins like they are going out of style, and bathed in Purell after touching, well, practically everything. Please, I beg of you, if you have germs do not come near me for a while. I am running a marathon on Sunday and another one in 2 weeks.

8. I am fully rested. I’ve had an 8:30pm bedtime for the last 3 nights.

7. I have the best running friends ev-ah. That’s right, I said it. Both in my real world and virtual world my running friends are The Best. No comparisons and no substitutes. The best. They all said I’m going to do great so if they say so then it will be so.

6. My husband and possibly my best friends (if they are all feeling better) will be in attendance to see me run on Sunday. And Sarah Jo and Linden, supposedly with a cow bell in tow. I have never been cheered for with a cow bell. That is exciting. You always run better with a cheering section.

5. My running partner left me the most amazing loaf of homemade banana bread on my desk this morning. It was a surprise and it was awesome. It was healthy banana bread. Have you ever heard of such a thing? Let me tell you folks, this is going to make me run very fast. I can feel it.

4. My friend Mark has sent me motivation emails every single day this week. He is an amazing writer and I will be treasuring those for races to come.

3. I get to meet Willie on Sunday. Willie, my online running friend, is an amazing runner. I’m hoping his awesomeness running vibes will rub off on me which will in turn make me have a great race.

2. My running partner has me well-trained and well-prepared to run a great race. She’s like a bootcamp instructor- she’s made me a faster, more confident runner. I owe a good race to her!

1. Most importantly, I am a queen of everything. I will run a good race because I am queen. I rule the road and I rule my body. I rule all the little folks in it.

Ok, well, this is probably the last post until after Sunday. I highly doubt the place I’m staying tomorrow night has wi-fi, so I’ll catch you on the flipside. If you’re in Tulsa on Sunday you will find me as close to the 4:15 pacer that I can get. If I could just tie on to her with one of those ropes you attach your kids to I would do it.

Good luck runners!!

SONG OF THE DAY: “Irlandaise” from the Suite for Flute and Jazz Piano by Claude Bolling